is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
