her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
