would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
