I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
