please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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