I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize