Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
