I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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