You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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