we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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