i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
