I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
