we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize