And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
