Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
