dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize