By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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