All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
