My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
