i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
