Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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