Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
