so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
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It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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