I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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