Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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