It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
