you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
