Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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