The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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