you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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