I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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