As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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