When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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