What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
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Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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