i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
