do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
