I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
