I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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