C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
