The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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