whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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