They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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