should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
