Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
