Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
