My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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