Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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