It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
