5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
