i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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