I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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