How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize