Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
