So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
