and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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