We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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