Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
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Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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